so the bikini was named after the atom bomb tests. (see link below). i always thought a one piece looked better anyway. backless, though. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bikini

rita hayworth apparently cried when told that the first atom bomb to be dropped on bikini atoll was named after her. i know little else about her, but certainly warmed to her on the strength of that. another unwished for and unintended contribution to history. 

i knew that there was another one that was worth remembering! Lupe Velez, the mexican spitfire. more famous now for the circumstances of her suicide than her work as an actress. i certainly dont recall seeing any of her films, but i've never forgotten the story of her death, which i first came across in kenneth anger's book hollywood babylon when i was probably in my very early teens. http://www.quite.com/personal/cafeq/fdtextlupe.htm it made me laugh then, and still does now. apparently warhol made a film about the event, i didn't know this. that link above is the story.

as far as the moral goes, i think that it's don't second guess posterity, and that history -whatever that is- will make whatever use of you that it chooses. if you have kids, that gives you maybe two generations of personal immortality in the memories of people who knew and loved you, hopefully. striving to make a mark beyond that is probably ill advised.

poor lupe.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

a dead edwardian - he was the speaker of the house of commons, but i dont think anyone remembers him- the important thing is that he has an orchid in his button hole and facial hair. from an illustrated edwardian encyclopaedia. for all i know, he may have done amazing things in parlaiment, he may well have gone into politics to make the world a better place- or he may have chosen his career as an outlet for consuming megalomania. either way, the important thing about him now, to me, is the facial hair and orchid. he may have only worn an orchid that one day, and been clean shaven most of his life, which was devoted to helping the poor, orphans and widows; but it makes no difference. this is the problem with posterity. the history blair invokes as being his judge might not care too much about the iraq war - he might just become the prime minister whose wife had too many teeth. i think that would damage his ego more than being remembered as a war criminal.

this dead edwardian might have done all sorts of things......

i've spent the day kicking around in the archives (in between managing to lose 3 separate posts to this, same old story.....)

http://www.royaljournal.com best one so far

http://www.renewal.org.au/object/index.html the images in the "notes" section of this one are a bit small, but its good that the text is transcribed next to it

http://www.kittyville.com/letter_intro.html the letters also transcribed, which is cool. and their are decent sized images of the originals

http://wfmu.org/playlists/AK somehow disturbing, old answerphone tapes, even a few secretly made tapes for divorce proceedings

it's all pretty voyeuristic, but it's how we're all going to end up- just registering through our remnants, and there's increasing amounts of these- the shadows that we slough off; from personal photographs and letters (post it notes too) to official dossiers, answerphone tapes, surveillance tapes; data gleaned from surveys and market research. then on top there's the digital footprint, including blogs. i think that  the theosophists, amongst others, who believe in a sort of cosmic archive they call the ashkanic records (or something like). where everything that ever was or happened is preserved, or still exists. someone has to look after the archives. i've thought this in every charity shop, car boot sale and flea market i've been in. someone has to look after the archives. porte de clignancourt in paris is still just getting to grips with the 19th century - piles of components for gas fittings, ornate and obsolete lamps, old photographs. the nineteenth century created a huge quantity of stuff, but it doesn't begin to compare with the twentieth. cycles of obsolescence speed up. more stuff is produced.

god was invented, at least in part, to be the one in whom our least thought or action would be known, and have significance. did we invent the novel first, then reality tv to replace this? i dont know...... 

when i was writing my dissertation at college, which was on family photography, i was printing out one of my illustrations in the computer room, it was of my grandmother's shelf where the whole family sits, some framed, some tucked into the frames of others, a friend pointed to an image of my uncle, bearded and somewhere outdoors; "everyone's got a picture of him" she said. i took her point. i have a collection of old photograph albums, pictures of holidays and children and visiting grandparents. and they could be anyone's family, or anyone's life, including mine. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

a russian general from early 20th century, i dont know why! hes from my archive too. i made him blurry.

i won't speak too soon, but i think that those might have worked........still haven't got the hang of posting images, but if they just sit there and dont cover anything up or vanish themselves, i'll be happy. they are what would be classed  as found images, from one of my collection of old medical books (1900's - 1930's; they usually cost about a pound in flea markets and have cool pictures). i think both of those below have a certain poetic charm......especially the convalescent in his sleeping bag and balaclava, looking at trees. i feel like that today, but he (?) also has a cool railing to look at. the other one reminds me of holbien's dead christ for some reason, but with an edwardian moustache and brylcreem.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

another drunken post below; (weds 17) can always tell when i'm pissed because there is frequent, or more frequent) swearing, and lots of rhetorical questions. i dont think i like rhetorical questions. it's a drunken rant. as with the last pissed posting, it's not that i disagree with what i say, but it sounds like being backed into a corner by the pub bore. he has eyes that focus past you - or not at all- and a bubble of spit that grows, then pops, at the corner of his mouth. like the ancient mariner.

i trained myself to keep away from telephones in that state. any drinker will know the morning after feeling when the memory of the conversation starts bleeding back around the edges of consciousness, like something wet on a seat slowly soaking through your trousers,and you sit there trying to block it out.....whoever picks the phone up always sounds surprised - usually because you haven't spoken in months or years -there's a reason for that, but you don't think of it at the time- and usually because it's 3 in the morning! of course, a blog never acts surprised, and you never have to send it an apologetic text message. unless this is one.

as far as apologetic texts go, i thought a while ago that i should just keep one saved in my phone memory, that i could send out generally, as a matter of course the next day. i'm very glad to say that those days, which were actually a sizeable chunk of my life, have passed. very much sober (mostly), and surprisingly glad of it. this is not a redemption fantasy, such as many drinkers have. i don't believe in redemption. and i think purity is a filthy word. just listen out for it, the next time you hear it or read it: it will either be crass, or sinister.

i'm big on self pity at the moment though, because i've got a cold. everything sounds like it's underwater. and my throat and ears hurt and i'm cold. i've been playing silly computer games on http://www.miniclip.com/cubebuster.htm there's a couple of different versions of the game on there, which i'm sure i remember from the old days of the zx spectrum, it is strangely compelling. i definitely have too much time on my hands. can't get on the high score board though. i've tried, god i've tried.....it occurred to me, and i'm sure someone somewhere has written about it; that computer games generally are a form of discipline. to learn to play them you have to learn movements, routines by repetition, and then perform them, and only them, to achieve silicon validation. the computer parent/boss says "well done, you have learned how to perform the task, we will trust you with the next level". it's perfect training for industry, it includes time pressure too.